TWToday: Now in Eurovision
Sitting here, still playing Pokemon, Tuesday seems a very long way away and I could almost think that my exams were over.
But, sadly, they're not.
Ah, Eurovision. I'm told that there are those that actually take it seriously. I cannot for the life of me fathom why. Quite frankly, the only thing good about it is Terry Wogan's gently snarky commentary. The vast majority of the songs are unintelligible, and no, not the ones in foreign languages. As far as I can tell, the Irish entry involves something about selling hernias.
From here on in, I'm just going to be tossing out ideas as I watch this rubbish, for reasons I can't quite figure out, but which probably involve enjoying anger and mocking people who can't hear me.
Wogan has just pointed out how he would prefer the Finnish television commercials to the gap-filling, forced nonsense from "Krisse", who is apparently a "fan of Eurovision". She's hosting parts of it because she was approached in a totally non-set-up way in the audience.
His response to the French entry? "God, wasn't that awful." I really need to start listening to this guy's radio show.
The female Serbian contestant looks remarkably like this guy I know at school. However, the guy has more musical talent.
Ukrainians are apparently all 50s B-movie spacemen. On drugs. Who are ridiculously proud of their ability to count to three.
Ah, the UK. WTF?! Air hostesses?! Just because the song mentions flying, you don't have to be dressed as air hostesses, boys and girls. And mentioning a whole bunch of capital cities to fly to isn't winning you any points.
One Pokemon battle later (I lost to Sam) and it seems the voting has begun. Wogan reckons Ukraine is silly enough to win it, though he's never picked a winner yet.
I really hate that woman in the pink dress. She's just declared that the people behind her are wearing every kind of clothing ever worn by man. No, there not! None of them are wearing loinclothes! I don't see no togas! Most of them are in shirts and ties!!!
Well, Erin's just voted for the Ukraine. Four times. And it's already up on Youtube. I haven't decided if I can be bothered waiting for the results before editing and posting.
Rock cellists and a man in a bubble swallowing a fluorescent tube? That's Eurovision for you.
My god, I want to kill that woman in the pink dress. Wogan wants the guilty party responsible for her inclusion to be named. Should I really be agreeing so strongly with the quintessential old geezer of Britain?
9 to 10 scale! That just means you're a 9 if you're ugly, you stupid woman!!! And, no, I'm not explaining that.
The UK is currently the only country without any points.
Erin's sitting on my bed, hurling a plastic eyeball at my TV whenever some country doesn't give 12 points to the Ukraine.
Hey, Malta gave us some points! We're not total failures. Although, I have to say that we should be.
Oh, well. Serbia won. And nobody gives a crap.
And so, I shall leave you with these words of wisdom:
Scroll down for today's woodle.
But, sadly, they're not.
Ah, Eurovision. I'm told that there are those that actually take it seriously. I cannot for the life of me fathom why. Quite frankly, the only thing good about it is Terry Wogan's gently snarky commentary. The vast majority of the songs are unintelligible, and no, not the ones in foreign languages. As far as I can tell, the Irish entry involves something about selling hernias.
From here on in, I'm just going to be tossing out ideas as I watch this rubbish, for reasons I can't quite figure out, but which probably involve enjoying anger and mocking people who can't hear me.
Wogan has just pointed out how he would prefer the Finnish television commercials to the gap-filling, forced nonsense from "Krisse", who is apparently a "fan of Eurovision". She's hosting parts of it because she was approached in a totally non-set-up way in the audience.
His response to the French entry? "God, wasn't that awful." I really need to start listening to this guy's radio show.
The female Serbian contestant looks remarkably like this guy I know at school. However, the guy has more musical talent.
Ukrainians are apparently all 50s B-movie spacemen. On drugs. Who are ridiculously proud of their ability to count to three.
Ah, the UK. WTF?! Air hostesses?! Just because the song mentions flying, you don't have to be dressed as air hostesses, boys and girls. And mentioning a whole bunch of capital cities to fly to isn't winning you any points.
One Pokemon battle later (I lost to Sam) and it seems the voting has begun. Wogan reckons Ukraine is silly enough to win it, though he's never picked a winner yet.
I really hate that woman in the pink dress. She's just declared that the people behind her are wearing every kind of clothing ever worn by man. No, there not! None of them are wearing loinclothes! I don't see no togas! Most of them are in shirts and ties!!!
Well, Erin's just voted for the Ukraine. Four times. And it's already up on Youtube. I haven't decided if I can be bothered waiting for the results before editing and posting.
Rock cellists and a man in a bubble swallowing a fluorescent tube? That's Eurovision for you.
My god, I want to kill that woman in the pink dress. Wogan wants the guilty party responsible for her inclusion to be named. Should I really be agreeing so strongly with the quintessential old geezer of Britain?
9 to 10 scale! That just means you're a 9 if you're ugly, you stupid woman!!! And, no, I'm not explaining that.
The UK is currently the only country without any points.
Erin's sitting on my bed, hurling a plastic eyeball at my TV whenever some country doesn't give 12 points to the Ukraine.
Hey, Malta gave us some points! We're not total failures. Although, I have to say that we should be.
Oh, well. Serbia won. And nobody gives a crap.
And so, I shall leave you with these words of wisdom:
Scroll down for today's woodle.
posted by Alasdair Corbett at
10:54 PM
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