So this guy with a box on his head walks into a bar...

For my blog post today, ladies and gentlemen, I present a short comedy sketch that I just wrote. It may not be funny, it may not be spell-checked, but by the Spaghetti Monster, I'm going to find a camcorder and film it!

[an actor comes on stage with a large box on his head]
[he begins his scene]

Actor: Alas, my father is dead, murdered by-

[director tries to interrupt]

Director: Jeremy, just stop a second. Jeremy?

[the actor does not notice]

Actor: -my aunt in a fit of jealousy and-

[the director interrupts again]

Director: Jeremy! Stop!

[the actor now notices and turns to the director]

Actor: What? Is something wrong?

Director: You've... you've got a box on your head, Jer.

Actor: Do I? My dear chap, I think I would notice if I had a box on my head.

Director: Well... it's on there, Jeremy.

Actor: Where is it, where?

Director: On your head. Are you not having any trouble seeing, at all?

Actor: I had noticed the lights were a little dim. I thought it might be a thematic thing. Nighttime, midnight, our hero's darkest hour and so on.

Director: No, you've just got a box on your head.

Actor: Ah, could be, could be. Should I take it off, do you think?

Director: That would... probably be the best thing to do, yeah.

Actor: I was simply wondering if it was something wardrobe had done, I don't tend to pay attention to them very much.

Director: It... um... they might have... no, it isn't right. Just take off the box, Jer.

Actor: All right, then.

[the actor motions his hands as if wiping something off his shirt]

Actor: Did I get the blighter?

Director: No, little higher up.

[the actor moves his hands around his head, completely missing the box]

Actor: What about now?

Director: [getting exasperated] You missed it again, [muttering] you silly old...

Actor: Dash it all man, I can't do everything myself! Have someone take off this stupid box that you insist I'm wearing!

Director: Fine. Harry, could you...?

[he motions to the box and an assistant goes to remove it]

Actor: Hurry up, hurry up, I haven't got all day, you know!

[the assistant pulls off the large box to reveal another, smaller box underneath]

Actor: That's better! Now, get out of my shot. Where was I?

Director: [flicking through script] Uh, "alas, my father...". From the top, people!

Assistant: Adventures of Jimerson, scene 5, take 2!

[zoom out and screen fades as actor begins again]
[end]

I really want to see that film, in-joke though it may be. I may try this again in the future, if scripting inspiration strikes before blogging inspiration.