I Even Hate Potential Change

Today at school, we sat through a talk on applying to university, which must be done by early October. Long-term readers (there must be one of you out there) will know that I have only a very vague idea of what I want to do in life. I'm aware that it should involve computers and I hope to be involved in the video game industry somehow, probably in a game design aspect. I also hope to do a lot of writing, which could easily just be a hobby once I gather some momentum, and I have more than a passing interest in physics, astronomy and robotics.

I have yet to find a university course that combines all these things.

It might help if I was actually looking at prospectuses and so on, something I probably should have done before now and will have to be doing over the weekend. Of course, that's only the start of the whole process and the problems involved.

My resume extra-curricular-wise isn't exactly stunning and such things are apparently very important. Seems like I have just over one month to turn myself into a well-rounded human being with a diverse range of interests and skills. Cue 24-esque countdown starting.... now!

...

Or not.

I figure I can do the C++ for Dummies book I've had lying around for ages and claim that as a skill. I've come up with a challenge to build my own PC (or Linux box as it may well end up) for under £100, not counting various parts I can scavenge from here and there. Playing some sort of sport or musical instrument is apparently helpful but I'm supremely untalented at both and now is no time to start.

I guess I'll just have to see how it goes and try to lie my way out of it. I've always been very bad at this whole “I performed task X outside of school, proving Y and teaching me that Z”. As far as my cynical and logical mind can see, doing X proves only that I can do X. People can draw from that what they will.

So I'm going to do a to-do list. Here goes.


Go through C++ for Dummies

Complete Visual BASIC stuff (technically homework which I'll have to do anyway)

Research building a computer

Continue writing fiction and sketches, turning it into a regular thing

Write more for the MacTake

Revive the VersusCOM podcast

Get back into Game Maker (I'm supposed to be helping little kids learn it in Computing club anyway, so why not?)

Look into university courses, particularly what I would need for a career in video game design, with other options available (I can't believe this came so far down the list)

Do something about the VersusCOM website

Stop writing these blog posts when people can come into my room and annoy me

Stop adding irrelevant items to lists without giving them proper context

Sell more stuff on eBay, particularly the NESi and spare retro consoles (nothing to do with the future, I just need some cash and my brother asked me to sell some stuff of his too)

Become more proficient with Linux and declare it a skill


I think that about covers it for now. I really need to get some hobbies that can be summed up in one word like “archery”, “photography” or “paintballing”. Video games don't seem to count as a hobby, I don't like telling people about my writing, such as it is, and everything else I do sounds very geeky and academic. Maybe I could invent a sport based on retro gaming and claim commitment for having done it for years.

But I don't want to get started on a rant about that. I fear I may already have done so elsewhere and elsewhen. Which really ought to be a word. I think I'm going to try writing something tonight. Or practising Street Fighter II some more.

No! I must focus on shiny things my future! My future hopefully involves getting some sleep soon. My body still hasn't adjusted to the school routine of being awake in the morning.

Mini-posts suck, but at least they don't last long

Another school day, another piece of old technology looted from the Computing lab cupboards. This time, Sam managed to snag himself a BBC Master. We immediately went and hooked it up in the common room, much to the confusion of technically-challenged people and the annoyance of people who wanted to play Halo 2. However, it's my TV and I'll use it for whatever I want.


I wish I had more to say, I really do. I also wish that I didn't have a Computing homework sheet to do most of and Computing first thing tomorrow morning. But such is life. And I still need to play some FFIII DS, damn it. I shall complete that game!

But really, I've left this homework too late so I'm calling this a mini-post (they still count because I say they do) and putting it up before panicking about this homework, doing it and then going to bed.

Here's a kinda funny-ish movie that might be good, judging from certain scenes presented in the admittedly short trailer.

And here's a funny webcomic I read through today. I don't think I've ever used the term here before but I now assure you that this is rather NSFW.

Have a nice day.

School and Stupidity

Nothing quite says “Sixth Year” like a 96-match, winner-stays-on, 4-hour continuous game of Street Fighter II. People are bringing in more advanced consoles (note avoidance of the word “better”) than the SNES tomorrow, along with plenty of TVs.

You may remember that a few days ago, I mentioned I had fallen out of the habit of playing video games over the summer. I also speculated that this was because I consider gaming very much a social activity and that I'd probably get back into it once I got back to school.

As you may have guessed, I was right. After having been humiliated by failing miserably at SNES Tetris (the principles are remarkably different from Tetris DS, particularly screen width, drop rate and the lack of a hold ability) and holding my own in Street Fighter, I came home determined to practice all night if I had to. Which I did, more or less. I still intend to play some Final Fantasy III tonight, since a girl is beating me at it. That may sound ridiculously juvenile, but this is the internet. Everything sounds like that.

So, with all this gaming and schoolwork and such, I haven't actually had much of a chance to think about TWToday and what to write for it. I may try to get something written tomorrow, though what I could really do with is some easier access to a computer. The only one currently available at school, without trekking round classrooms begging, is stuck in the corner of the Sixth Year kitchen, its speakers having been appropriated for various iPods.

Still, I might be able to get it done if we can get into the quieter room (read: room without blaring crappy pop music). It would be even quieter still if we could shut the door. Well, we can technically do that already but we just can't get it open again, owing to a distinct lack of handle.

I know I seem to be doing a lot of complaining (which may be why you read this, whoever you are, but I don't like it being why I write) about the Common Room and school but there are a significant number of people in it whom I despise. Why, you ask? Simple. Many of them are imbeciles with juvenile senses of humour and no perception of reality.

How can I prove this? Why, a tale by firelight, of course. Monitor backlights also work.

A bit of background. The school I go to has a house system. The four houses are Nightingale, Montgomery, Churchill and Curie. Obviously, these are all named after various famous people.

When my friends and I were sitting playing Street Fighter today, we clearly overheard a rather (unintentionally) amusing conversation going on behind us. A girl we'll call “K” (later edit: not that I'll ever actually call her that again) comes in, squeeling merrily in the fashion that girls such as her do when they encounter others of their kind. She then states, in a clear and loud voice, completely unaware of the stupidity of it:

“I just found out that Montgomery isn't named after Colin Montgomerie!”

...

That sound you can hear is one of Britain's greatest military officers spinning in his grave.

What makes it even worse is the fact that several other piped up to not knowing that either. They then struggled to recall who it was actually named for (they got as far as some guy named “Montgomery”). This isn't even getting to the fact that the two men spell their names differently.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the kind of shit that we have to put up with until we finally rise up and establish a ruling council of intellectual elites.

Unless you just went to Wikipedia to look up “Montgomery”, in which case you'll be cleaning toilets.

Standard Back to School Complaining

You know it's the first day back from summer when you take a dozen tries to do your tie.


Ah, first day back at school. It's weird. I can get back into the routine very quickly, it's only another variation on something I've been doing decades, I suppose, but it seems like most of the knowledge I gained last term has left my head.

Well, maybe not so much left as “temporarily hidden away beneath a thick coating of dust”. The odd prod in the right direction seems to be helping me get through things. Our Physics teacher, sensible man that he is, has decided to run through the previous terms stuff for a couple of days rather than spending the rest of the term answering questions about the first topic. Computing should be a matter of flicking through some PowerPoints I had to make last term. Maths is... Maths. I'll deal with it as it comes.

The biggest advantage of Sixth Year is always supposed to be the Common Room, to which we now have access during free periods. For the younger children in the school, this is undoubtedly the holy grail, a place where video games can be played and TV watched while in school. Once you get further up it still sounds like a nice idea. Once you reach Sixth Year and step inside, you discover that it looks crap, is cramped and that the hallowed TVs have a single SCART plug and look like they were pulled off a rubbish heap in the early 90s.

It's nice enough though, and I'm sure I'll learn to live with it until some asshole gets the whole year chucked out by trying to destroy everyone's eardrums with some horrible pop song.

I really can be depressing if I try, can't I? But like I keep saying, I need to stop doing these things late at night. It's not that I get tired, it's more to do with the constant stream of people in and out of my door telling me that I should get to bed, peering out my window at garage doors before declaring that they can't see anything and then asking if I've brushed my teeth. Repeat ad nauseam.

Those three things all quite literally happened immediately after I'd finished typing that.

But away from such topics. I haven't had any time to write more of the fiction that I started last week. I currently need some kind of title for it, as well, since it has long since evolved past what the original title implied. Suggestions on a postcard or in the comments.

I may write more about school tomorrow when I feel I can be bothered and if I don't have too much homework to do.

I have no idea why anyone thought it would be a good idea to do a Joust movie. I'd barely heard of the thing and, reading up on it, it's hardly plot heavy.

For now, I'm going to bed. Because I'm tired. I find that that's a far better reason to go to bed than “because somebody yelled at me”.

Have a nice day.

Another Day, Another Headache

I have a splitting headache and the scroll ball on my Mighty Mouse, apparently detecting my negative views of the Apple Store, has decided to play up again. All this on the day before I go back to school.

So I'm not in a good mood.

As such, I'm keeping this post short. Those in need of my witticisms and cynical opinions can find them at the MacTake article I linked above, which I managed to type up before my headache got worse. I suspect that it's due to a lack of sleep or, failing that, I'm hoping that sleep will somehow cure it anyway.

This is the last Metroid Retrospective, giving a look at Fusion and the overall timeline of the series. It's pretty good, so I'd recommend giving it a look. It goes into a bit of detail on some plots but you needn't worry about spoilers for Corruption (as I did) since it keeps everything fairly brief there. This comes along with rumours of the return of Metroid Dread. A rumoured 2D DS instalment of the series, Dread was unofficially canned before it was officially announced, with precious little mention of it recently. It's referenced as a bit of an easter egg/plot hook in Corruption. It's hardly Reggie standing on a PAX stage and beating his chest with it but, for we 2D hopefuls, it'll do.

One last link, to a Halo Wars demo trailer. I can't say I've been hugely excited about this game so far, RTSs not being my favourite genre and console-based RTSs generally being in the lower ranks of that genre, but it's an interesting enough video to waste 10 minutes on.

Summer's End (Almost)

I'm having bizarre trouble writing the little intro sentence to this post. The gist of it is that the itching I mentioned yesterday was apparently caused by insects, as evidenced by the similar itching and distinct bites on my arms today. So there's apparently some bug flying around the garden that I'm mildly allergic to and have never encountered before. Weird.


So, the summer holidays are almost over now. The question I have to ask myself is, did I get anything done? Well, I suppose I got some stuff done. Assuming about a 550 words-per-post average and an 8 week holiday, I've written about 30, 800 words for TWToday. I've rearranged all the furniture in my room. I've sold my old Axim on eBay. I've finally got round to writing some fiction that's been in my head for years. I've been driving for the first time and gone again.

On the other hand, I've got a big list of things that are still undone. I haven't so much as opened my copy of C++ for Dummies. I meant to get back into Game Maker and didn't. The VersusCOM podcast is still on hiatus and I haven't even made a start on several other VCOM projects, including reviving the website itself. Aside from my Axim, I've still got a tonne of stuff I need to sell.

Still, I guess I can still get that done. I figure Sixth Year will give me a bit more free time – which I'll have to make good use of – and not all of what I meant to do will take ages. Still, it's strange to know that I can't keep putting stuff off until the next school holidays. After this, I've only got three big ones left.

Meh. I'm worrying too much again. And right now is not a time for worrying, it's a time for sleep. I'm getting up early (relatively speaking) tomorrow since we're all heading into Glasgow to the new Apple Store, as I think I mentioned before. Should be fun and, depending on how I like the feel, I may come home with a new keyboard.


I've been reading a load of articles on Snopes recently. I don't know what's more amazing: some of the things that have actually happened or some of the things that people believe have happened. Anyway, it's definitely worth a look, on the off chance that you've never been there before.


More tomorrow, maybe, once I've given some more serious thought to various matters. For today, I'm going to bed, even if I haven't reached that magical 550 word average. Maybe I'll write some more fiction tomorrow to compensate. Or maybe I'll wallow in self-pity and my own inability to take significant actions some more. Or maybe I'll replay the BioShock demo. It's all good.

Woodle: How do Daleks stay clean?

Concept by Alasdair Corbett
Art by Sam Stafford
We probably ought to mention that Terry Nation created the Daleks, just to be safe

Too Many Tales for Other Times

For reasons unknown to medical science, physical labour makes my scalp itch like crazy. It's weird.


I've noticed that I have a set routine to my nights now. I'll potter about my computer for a bit, have my shower, have something to eat (I've had a bowl of cereal every night since I was about seven; no, I don't know why) and then, at almost precisely 22:20, I'll sit back down in front of this keyboard and make a start on the nightly blog post.

It's kind of a depressing routine, to be honest, but one that should be broken when the holidays end and I return to school on Tuesday. Of course, that in itself is equally depressing. Since I like making lists, here's one of things that I need to do before Tuesday:


1. Post tonight's woodle.
2. Pack my school bag.
3. Dig out my school uniform from the recesses of my wardrobe. Finding my shoes may require an expeditionary team.
4. Double check that I have no holiday homework to panic about at the last minute and then discover that no one else has done anyway.
5. Cry myself to sleep on Monday.


I think that just about covers everything. In other news, I finally did some proper gaming on my new TV, having hooked up TimeSplitters Future Perfect in order to check what the winning multiplayer screens said, for a story I was briefly writing. As always happens when I'm playing TimeSplitters, I felt compelled to play the single player for a while, also giving me the chance to use widescreen settings and such for the first time. I love my TV. I also love TimeSplitters, but that's a story for another time.

I was browsing TVTropes when I came across the Nightmare Fuel trope, about unintentionally scary stuff in children's shows, and a link to this YouTube video. Creepiest. Thing. Ever. With some homosexual imagery thrown in to boot. Or maybe that's just my twisted imagination, judge for yourself.

I'm just considering writing a post about all the crap that corporations think they can get away with and which is subsequently, and rapidly, discovered by the entire internet. When will they learn? But I'll save that for another time. As well as my ranting about video game industry "analysts".

I expect that tomorrow will be a post full of reminiscing about the summer holidays and thinking about going back to school. Or maybe it won't be. Either way, don't expect much on Monday since I'll probably be spending the time crafting a report for the MacTake on my visit to the Glasgow Apple Store and, with any luck, my shiny new keyboard.

I still have to post today's woodle after this and then get to bed (no more waking up at half past eleven for me) so I'll wrap things up here and now. Have a nice day.

Why Game?

I really should stop talking to my mother before doing these posts. It has an annoying tendency to put me in a bad mood.


Anyway, teenage angst aside, I do actually have some stuff to talk about. It's nothing deep but neither am I, quite frankly. I'm deeper than some people but I'm hardly Shakespeare. Of course, it's a well-established fact that 1000 monkeys could write his plays, so maybe that's not the best comparison to draw.

I've found myself playing relatively few video games recently. I'm not entirely sure why, since I have just set up a new TV in my room and connected all my consoles to it. I have games that I keep meaning to play, as highlighted by Sam's disbelief that I still haven't got round to picking up my DS and finishing (his copy of) Pheonix Wright, which I've been on the last level of for months. My current justification is that Erin's playing it.

Maybe it's a lack of good games, as often happens in the summer. It's partly a build-up for the Christmas season but the old E3 has also been blamed, since developers and publishers preferred to focus on creating demos and trailers rather than working on the game proper. Maybe it's just a bit of a shift in lifestyle as I find myself spending more time browsing the web (often game sites, it has to be said) and (trying to) write and I find myself unwilling to go and play video games, a symptom probably more to do with general apathy than anything else.

I suspect it might have something to do with the fact that, for the past couple of years, I've been getting steadily more and more into gaming news. It probably started not long before Sam and I started doing the VersusCOM podcast (soon to be brought back from the dead) and got steadily worse since then. Being tuned into the hype train can really ruin a good gaming experience. Skeptical though I may be, it's easy to be disappointed by overly hyped games. It's also difficult to get excited about what's in the disc slot now, when the Next Big Thing^TM is supposedly just round the corner. Unless it's delayed.

That said, it's things like this that remind me why I'm a gamer. It's the latest release list from Nintendo and reading it warms my heart and hurts my wallet. Metroid Prime 3, Super Mario Galaxy, Super Paper Mario... games that I've been looking forward to for months, even years, are finally within my grasp and I can imagine sitting down and playing them when I get home from school, racing to complete them before my friends.

When I scrolled to the bottom of the list and saw the tentatively titled "Advance Wars 2" listed for DS, I couldn't help but break into a smile. I wasn't just thinking of the possibility of new games, I was reminded of old ones. Months spent playing a single game of Advance Wars at break times with three friends. Doing the same with the second one. That thrill of finding out about the series prior to that on the Famicom and old Game Boy as my interest grew.

Because gaming is a fascinating hobby and a very social one, from my perspective. Sure, I may not be into LAN parties and online gaming (I'm rather proud of eschewing WoW, actually) but there's something about doing multiplayer and discussing plotlines with friends and rivals. I suspect now, writing this as I think, that I've fallen out of my gaming habit over the summer because I've had no one to play with. I love a good single player game with a good plot, but part of the appreciation of that experience has to do with talking about it and examining it. I haven't been able to do that during the holidays.

So, looking over this list and thinking about going back to school, I've begun to realise just what a huge part video games play in my life. And, I hope, what a huge part they will continue to play.


That, ladies and gentlemen, is what TWToday is about, when I do it well. Starting with an idea, running with it, writing it down and coming to a conclusion. Now, tomorrow I just need to get the damned tutorial mode of Mario Strikers Charged finished...

Chapter 1.1, plus some notes and links

So, below is the first part of my "webcomic" which I've kind of turned into a prose thing. No idea if it'll work out but I figure it's worth a shot. If you can't be bothered reading it, scroll down for some links and such.



James glanced up from his DS when he heard the door open and shut above the gaggle of the crowded room. Alex had arrived, five minutes after himself and Sherman, probably because he had had to walk from the other building. His own fault for taking Maths.

He returned his focus to the game just in time to see a green shell rear-end him and sent him hurtling off a cliff. Sherman whooped enthusiastically. James thought that he would have grown used to winning by now but perhaps that was silly, since James was not yet resigned to losing.

The race was over by the time that Alex had pushed his way through the narrow gaps between the tables, making his way to their small corner of the room, brushing past dangling legs and trying not to step on dropped crisps as he did so. Putting his bag up on the table, just avoiding flattening James sandwiches, he pulled out his own console and the three friends spent the next half hour or so gaming, chatting and, occasionally, eating the lunch for which their break from schoolwork was named.

They had returned to playing Mario Kart, Alex being unbeatable at Tetris and Bomberman being too boring with only three players, when the topic of conversation moved to the weekend.

“I've been meaning to ask,” said Alex. “Either of you guys free on Saturday night?”

“You asking us out?” jibed Sherman, before blasting past James. He should have expected that; Sherm always stayed back until the last round to get better power-ups.

“Not precisely. Indeed, practically the opposite. My parents are having some kind of dinner party and I require your assistance in staying the hell away from it.”

“Ah,” replied James. “The old “But, Mum, I can't socialise now, I'm with my friends” routine.”

“Well, I stick with what works. And I do hate to be one of only three people below the age of forty in the house. And one of the others is thirty nine.” Alex had a look of quiet concentration on his face. Whether he was concentrating on the game or his verbose sentences (or something else entirely), James could never be sure.

“Who's number three?” he asked, unwilling to devote to words brainpower that could go into hitting item boxes.

“You, currently,” said Alex, timing it so perfectly with his overtaking that James could have sworn he'd been preparing it since he started talking. “And Claire Johnson on Saturday.”

“Claire Johnson... I know that name.”

“You've probably heard Sherman or I mention her, she used to be a friend back in Primary school.”

Sherman crossed the finish line, followed by Alex five seconds later. James was just a few seconds behind them when the game finished automatically. Looking around, he noticed the general meandering towards the door and packing of bags that indicated the end of lunch was near. He turned off and flipped shut his DS in one practiced movement, slipping it in his blazer pocket as Alex zipped up his bag and Sherman tossed a last chunk of sandwich into his mouth.

“So,” said Alex. “You guys in for Saturday?”

“Got rugby in the morning but I should be able to make it. When for?”

“Six thirty would probably be good. James?”

“I've got nothing better to do. And I can't resist a chance to meet a pretty girl.”

“Aww,” said Sherman as they reached the door. “You think I'm pretty.”



I will probably update this further, depending on how I feel. Might not do it here, though. Anyway, I promised links, so here they are. I'm a glutton for all things Spore, so here's a video from Leipzig that reveals... well, very little actually. But never mind, because if you don't like that, you can just watch The Amazing Randi for an hour or so. This guy's a professional skeptic and former magician, for those of you who don't know, whose foundation, the James Randi Educational Foundation, offers $1 million to anyone who can prove supernatural abilities under controlled conditions. This is mildly amusing, for the FPS lovers among you.

See here for a look at the 72-pin connector I replaced in a NES a couple of days ago. It seems to be corroded somehow but I think it looks kind of like mint flavoured toothpaste, all green and white. The fourth picture is my little cousin's drawing of a Dalek. You can ignore that.

If you check the Woodles section, you'll see that Sam has left some comments on the ones he drew. They make an amusing read, if you want to examine them.

I just realised that I didn't do that NWT I promised for today. It wasn't very good and it's technically Skippy's job anyway. I can promise a woodle for Saturday though. I have the art in advance this time.

Also, Spacewar!

More of Nothing

Disgusting -
(adjective)
1. causing disgust; offensive to the physical, moral, or aesthetic taste.
2. stepping out of the shower, feeling something hard beneath your foot and looking down to find that you've squashed a large insect into the bathmat.

It was a Jenny longlegs (or, crane fly), for those of you not feeling too creeped out to continue reading.


You know what I'd like? Some kind of feature, one that could be mapped to a function key or a shortcut, that temporarily disabled the screensaver. I watch a lot of streamed videos which, being in a browser window, don't disable the screensaver or sleep mode like software video players do. It's a really minor thing that can be solved by just whacking the mouse, but it's pretty inconvenient all the same, particularly since I like my screensaver to come on pretty quickly.

This is what I think about when I should be doing more productive things. Like thinking what to write here, or writing down some of the fiction that swirls around in my head all day while I pace around the floor.

I can't believe that it's nearly the end of the summer holidays. I feel like I've got nothing done, which isn't strictly true but is close enough to the truth to be rather depressing, but I also feel like I'm growing bored with it. As fun as holidays can be, the weather has been miserable for weeks and I've run out of things to do. Of course, the moment I get back to school I imagine that I'll be pining for the fjords my hammock again but such is life and the human condition.

Now, I need to get this up because I missed Hyperdrive last week and the repeat comes on in about 5 minutes. I wish I had more to say but I honestly don't. More tomorrow, I can but hope. I may even have a New Word Thursday lined up.

Too tired... can't title...

So Blogger apparently crapped out on me last night. The post registered as having published last night but I had to redo it this morning before it would appear on the site. No big loss, since this whole "one post a day" thing is more about my sense of personal accomplishment (or, more accurately, lack of total failure) than it is a challenge and I did technically manage to post it to a little StreamK mirror that I set up in a few minutes before midnight.


Today has been another day spent chasing around an over-active 3 year-old and his equally so 7 year-old brother. I don't really have a problem with it, it's just not that conductive to thinking deep thoughts. Or staying awake.

Seriously, ridiculously tired and I still have other stuff to do tonight (such as read all my webcomics tabs that have been sitting open since this morning) so I'm calling tonight's post a mini-post and being done with it. I have some stuff lined up that's a bit more interesting and topical that I've been meaning to write about but I need to get up early tomorrow and I went to bed late last night.


Skippy sent me a graph a couple of days ago that seems to prove that my readers exist, so I feel somehow obligated to provide something more than the above.

So I'll link to this. It's an amusing little diversion and I was going to talk about it at greater length (and may still do so) but here it is now. I've known about this for a while but never looked at any of the charts or anything. If you don't know what I'm referring to, then you either didn't click the link or I forgot to add the link. I'm guessing it's your fault. Here it is again.


Have a nice day. I'm going to bed.

After reading my comics.

And rewatching this. "ROFLMAO", as the saying goes.

Children's Fiction

I reckon I could write children's fiction. Based on the bedtime story that I just read to my little cousin, all young boys want to hear is tales about other young boys, 7-12 years old seems to be the right age bracket, retreading the plot of Indiana Jones and foiling villains along the way. Well, they take away the Nazis and biblical references but it's more or less standard stuff.

Taking established characters and de-aging them, typically to teenage years so that they keep the "cool" factor with pre-teens, also seems to be a useful fad. Hamish, my little cousin, also brought with him a selection of books chronicling the adventures of a young Captain Jack Sparrow. Now, I'm not a Pirates of the Caribbean nut and I know nothing about the books, so I'm not going to go off on a rant about "continuity" and spoiling established characters. I'll spare you of that much at least.

It does, however, bring to mind several such characters that I use to enjoy. I don't remember any younger versions of existing characters but I can recall "Shirley Holmes" (I had one book but it was apparently a TV series as well) and "James Bond Jr.", who I believe was the great spy's nephew. I can't really remember much about JBJ (except that it may have had a funny theme song that I'll have to find on YouTube) but I imagine that it involved significantly less sex and gun violence than its big screen uncle. On the other hand, it was set at an American high school...

Still, it seems like I could write one of these. Adding in my own particularly cynical bent, of course. As I did when reading a Jack Stalwart (a series I'd never heard of prior to tonight) book. Why would anyone extend a rope to precisely the depth of the hole they were lowering it into, as measured by some magic gadget? Does the magic rope company charge by the centimetre? And if he then ties some of the rope around his waist, then there's no longer enough rope to reach the bottom of the hole anyway.

Upon further discussion, my Dad tells me that he took a similarly disparaging view on much of what was read to me as a child. I knew I had to have got this cynical streak from somewhere.

So, maybe I'll try writing some of that tomorrow, or even tonight. But for now, I have to get this post up because... well, I'll be honest with you. It's because I'm running out of things to say and I can't be bothered doing any more.

Oh, and I was totally right about the James Bond Jr. intro. I rarely like to use such coarse terms but this truly is worthy of it. Ahem. "ROFLMAO".

Time Travelling Transformers

(Note: this post contains no time travelling Cybertronians. It contains references to time and Transformers only in separate places. The word "travelling" was added purely because of the belief of the author that alliteration is awesome.)


Ever had a cut that you didn't notice until you saw it and then it started hurting like hell? Well, I've got one on the knuckle of my finger. Still, it could be worse. When I was much younger I once split my head open and, if I remember rightly, didn't start screaming until I put my hand on my head and felt the blood. Of course, once I started...


In my continuing quest to reorder the crap that passes for my possessions (lit: tidying), I came across my Dilbert desk calender. I've got one of these each year for the past few years but for some reason this year, after January, I didn't really bother to take the pages off. Whenever I noticed it lying wherever I had shoved it last, I just didn't have the time to pull off all the pages and I didn't like to just pull out as much as I needed and chuck what I'd missed in the bin, in case I was missing a second's amusement.

Today, I did have the time and I yanked out all the sheets of paper that last from June 29 to today. It's weird how calenders can make you realise that time is passing. If you mark off days on a calender, as so many TV characters love to do, you feel that each one lasts an age. If, like me, you just live from day to day, waiting for nothing special, and you suddenly find yourself holding the summer months in your hands, you begin to wonder where all the time went.

We're two thirds of the way through 2007. I can't quite believe that and I don't exactly know what to make of it.

Which, in retrospect, makes it a bad thing to write about.


I guess I'm in kind of a deep thinking, melancholy mood. It seems that watching too many episodes of Scrapped Princess in one day can do that to you. Still, I suppose I'll just watch some Transformers to cancel it out. No matter how much you start to think, 80s Saturday morning cartoons are sure to beat it out of you.

In unrelated news, I got to play around with a jigsaw today. Well, that's not strictly true. My job was to keep the wood from moving too much as my brother played about with the jigsaw to cut holes in the back of my cabinet, but it was still kind of cool. And now I can stick all my consoles under my TV. Hurray.

But the jigsaw has had to be put away, far out of reach, as my little cousins are coming to stay with us for a few nights. It might be fun but I can't imagine that I'll have much time or energy to write anything substantial. Not that that's ever stopped me, I just feel it's fair to warn you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch some discarded royalty and robots in disguise in the hope that they'll have some sort of crossover in my dreams. No reason why, I just think it'd be funny.


[Later: Just watching episode 2 of Transformers. Silly Autobots, infrared doesn't work that way.]

TWTurnip

Pliny the Elder once said that he considered turnips one of the most important vegetables in the world, ranking it "directly after cereals or at all events after the bean, since its utility surpasses that of any other plant." Of course, he said it in Latin, because he was Roman. And old.

He also thought that it was a great cure for famine, as are all foods, I suppose. In ancient Persia, turnips were long believed to be a cure for the common cold, and elsewhere, particularly in the British Isles, they were carved into lanterns before the popularity of pumpkins. This is in addition to their use as a foodstuff in many areas of the world.

Cultivation of turnips is believed to have started as early as 1500 BC, possibly before, as evidence shows that farmers in India were growing wild forms of the vegetable for the oil in its seeds. Other evidence point to it being grown in neolithic times, probably in the regions of West Asia and Europe, where wild relatives still grow today. However, there are no concrete facts pointing to the exact time period in which they were first domesticated.

Turnips have proved popular throughout history, and still are popular today, for various reasons. The Household Cyclopedia (1881) informs us why, via Wikipedia:

"The benefits derived from turnip husbandry are of great magnitude; light soils are cultivated with profit and facility; abundance of food is provided for man and beast; the earth is turned to the uses for which it is physically calculated, and by being suitably cleaned with this preparatory crop, a bed is provided for grass seeds, wherein they flourish and prosper with greater vigor than after any other preparation."

The robust nature of turnips, both in and out of the ground, have made them favourable in harsher climates, where they can be planted even in extremely poor soil and stored for many months after harvest, providing nourishment for people and animals. Humans tend to eat the smaller, more tender varieties while the larger varieties are grown specifically for livestock.

As of 2005, China was the largest producer of turnips in the world, before Russia and the USA. China was responsible for one third of the total global turnip output for that year.


Well, I did say I wasn't joking about the turnip thing. It's actually a fascinating subject but, alack and alas, I have run out of material to plagiarise from the Wikipedia article. So I'll just point you towards some of the Optimus Prime tribute videos (the first two are music ones and the latter two are more humourous) that I stayed up watching till about 1am yesterday. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Also Bumblebee. Made out of paper.

And, just because I can, this picture of a big ol' spider that we spotted scampering around its web outside the kitchen window. I couldn't get any pictures of it rapidly devouring a fly later in the evening because the camera was charging but I doubt that still images could have done it justice anyway. Nature is at its most beautiful while eating the rest of nature, as a (bad) poet might put it.

More shots here, because I'm addicted to using Picasa.


Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode on the Great Turnip Uprising of 1852.

Hey, I got to the end of a post on turnips without mentioning Baldrick. I wonder how that happened.

On All Kinds of Stuff

It's amazing what you can find when you tidy out cupboards. For example, I've just come across some sheets of paper with what I think are level passwords for my NES version of Lemmings. I haven't played that in ages... and now I want to. Shame all 8 of my NESs (don't ask) are currently buried under a pile of all kinds of other crap next door.

The moral of the story is that if you want me to tidy something, hide a copy of Lemmings under it.


I've decided to do a running commentary on me sorting these drawers. I've just found a packet of crayons. And I don't know why.

And lots of earphones. I think they just appear out of holes in the universe. Possibly the same holes that socks fall into when they're not being watched.

And I've just found my old passport. I was thinking of showing a picture of the pudgy, hoodie-wearing 9 year old whose identity I stole in 2000 but the camera just comes out blurry and I don't have access to a scanner. So you'll just have to use your imaginations. Don't imagine me as too ugly.

Daleks are really hard to clean, particularly all the dust that builds up in the slats and around the sense globes. I wonder how Daleks clean themselves... A car wash maybe?


Well, given up on tidying now. I'll have to get more done tomorrow but for now, Optimash Prime!

Ever just seen some cheap little thing and think "I need one of those" even though it's completely useless? And once you get it, even if you realise it was probably a waste of money, you still think it's awesome? Pretty much everything I own is like that and Optimash there is just the latest example.

On the bright side, it gave me a chance to fiddle around in Photoshop:


I was hoping for a better background to edit him in but I went with what I had. I might try again some time simply because I'm trying to get better at image editing. For reasons that totally don't involve blackmail.


I wrote this little post for the MacTake today, discussing some iPhone news. I started off talking about logical fallacies and end up discussing general relativity. I stopped just short of digging out my Physics folder and doing some calculations on the relativistic mass of an iPhone at various speeds.


I came this little gem of a video on YouTube today. It's worth watching for the music alone but it also does make you realise just how often Homer Simpson changes careers.


I got an actual comment on one of my posts yesterday. Eletric_Rainbow said of "Warning: This post is terrible. Don't read it.":

"That wasn't half as boring as you seemed to think it would be. It was actually pretty interesting. You're very entertaining. :)"

Not half as boring as I thought, huh? How dare you disagree with me, insolent peasant! Everything will be as boring as I say it shall be! Just for that, tomorrow's post will be about the history of turnip cultivation in Europe. Then we'll see who's boring!

But seriously, thanks for the comment. Reading over that post, it's actually not as terrible as I'd thought. Which throws two things into sharp relief; one, I should read over these things before putting them up, and two, it's extremely depressing that I get so few comments that I can afford to devote several paragraphs to each one. On the bright side, I can claim that 100% of comments are positive.

Also, I wasn't joking about the turnips thing. Prepare yourselves.

Tidying Makes Me Tired

As I mentioned I was going to do yesterday, I've spent most of today moving furniture and tidying out cupboards and shelves in my room. To give you some idea of the amount of crap I'm dealing with, I present the picture below.

Bare in mind that this is merely a fraction of it (the rest went in the hallway outside and I had already moved some stuff out of the spare bedroom when this was taken):


And all that stuff is still there. Tomorrow's going to be fun.

Pretty much all I've got in here now is most of my furniture, all pretty much empty or bare, my bed, my TV and my iMac. I reckon I can live like that for a while. Problem is, I have cousins coming to stay and one of them is going to need to sleep in the room that you see above.

Still, it needed doing. The World Health Organisation said so. Look at the dust that built up on the floor:


And that's just where a printer and some folders had been sitting for a few months. Some of this stuff hasn't been moved, or exposed to sunlight, in years. It is something that really needed done though, WHO or not, because I technically have dust allergy. Considering I've been living relatively healthily in amidst all this I reckon that, now it's gone, I should be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and stop trains with my pinky. I think I'll try the former first, since there's less danger of something going wrong. Like me dying.


The CD is apparently 25 years old now, give or take a few months. That's pretty impressive. Only a quarter of a century and there's several hundred billion of the things out there. Of course, they'll probably be seeing a bit of a decline over the next decade or so with the rise of downloads and alternate formats such as DVD and its successors.

In another 25 years, I might be telling my kids about times when music wasn't directly downloaded into your brain and when pop stars didn't also have to be brain surgeons. I expect I'll also be telling them that music, and everything else except broadband speeds, was much better. I'll be one mighty cranky... 41-year old.

Who knows what kind of storage media we'll live through in the next few decades. I imagine well see the further rise and fall of USB flash drives. I remember doing a presentation in Computing a few months back on various future technologies. Shame I wasn't really listening to myself. It was all really fascinating though. Lots of great clip art.


Speaking of future storage stuff, it looks like, come 2010, I'll owe Sam Stafford £10 based on a bet we made about Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. Oh, well.


For now, though, that's all in the future. In the present, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. And my feet hurt for some reason. As always, more tomorrow.

A new TV and a new resolution (did you get the pun?)

Guess what this is:

That's right; it's a 26" HD TV. Do you now what else it is?

It's mine. All mine!!!

Well, it will be once I get round to paying for my share of it but it's residing in my room and I can hook up all my stuff to it, ergo it's mine. And you can't have it. You can look at it and maybe I'll let push some buttons on the remote but that's as close as you're getting. You're not even allowed to watch any programs on it.

Actually, I can't even watch any programs on it either, until I get it hooked up to an aerial. Which I can't really do until I decide where I'm putting it. Which I can't do until I've gone through with my plan to rearrange all the furniture in my room. Which means that I'm going to spend most of tomorrow moving furniture around. Which is going to be a pain in the neck. Which is bad.

Still, you'll note that I tested out the TV using my NES and Super Mario Bros. I was originally going to just hook up the Gamecube or something and make sure it worked but I saw the RF lead dangling there and just couldn't resist. Why would I possibly do such a thing, you ask, as using a game more than 20 years old to test a brand new TV?

Because I can. I'd put that in italics but I don't like to do the whole "asking myself a question then emphatically stating the answer in a melodramatic way" thing too often in one post. I figure it's not melodramatic if I don't put it in italics.


I've just been reminded that it's in less than two weeks (two weeks yesterday, in fact) that I go back to school. I can't decide whether the summer holidays have flown past or if it just feels like they have. I'll meditate more on that later, since my mind is already busy rationalising the fact that two weeks is actually a kind of long time, relatively speaking, in order to prevent me from falling into a deep pit of despair. And you don't want to read about that.

On the other hand, it would at least give me something to write about other than my boring life. I think I've hit a bit of a wall (not a big bit, just a few bricks, unfortunately I hit them with my face) in terms of topics for blogging. I'm not sure if I'd think so if I read over the posts for the last few weeks, but something's giving me the feeling that I've not been doing any purely thinking stuff in a while, "musings", as it were, which is what I more or less set out to do in the first place.

It's that whole summer holidays idea, where I've got so much that I want to do that I never seem to be able to find the time to do it. I've still not done most of the things on the to do list that I've only just noticed and remembered hanging from my shelves.

Skippy, quite coincidentally, seems to be having a similar problem, except with fewer videogames and more... stormtrooping. Seriously. That helmet makes him look like he should be riding around forest moons on a hover bike, getting beaten up by teddy bears. Scroll down, you'll see what I mean.


I doubt I'll have much more for tomorrow. Though that reminds me, I need to remind Skippy of a couple of things. I can't be bothered emailing him so I'll state them here and then get angry if he doesn't read my posts. First, he needs to do a New Word Thursday for tomorrow, since he's about 2 months behind, at least and second, I'd appreciate it if he could give me the TWToday visitor numbers for the past few months, which I keep meaning to ask about. They'll probably just depress me though.

Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by my own thoughts, I reckon that spending the day moving furniture (if I ever actually get round to it) will leave me without much to tell tomorrow so I'll have to come up with something else. I've been meaning to write another sketch... Meh, we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Glorious Arrival

Glory of glories, my parcel arrived only 5 days late. Parcelfarce, all is forgiven. I also got charged an extortionate amount of VAT but that's the Labour Party's fault.

Now I feel another rant coming on. Who the hell has time to be all web 2.0'ish these days? I've got podcasts to listen to, blog entries to write, friends to block, noobs to pwn and IM convos to negotiate. I don't have time for breathing, eating or sleeping. Damn you web 2.0, damn you.

I'm so far behind on my podcasts that I can't even be bothered catching up. I can't even be bothered listening to the latest episodes. I can't be bothered even listening to anything at all. Screw you doorbell, telephone, pager (I don't actually have a pager), iPod, timer on bomb: I don't care, I can't be bothered listening to your noises, I need to go pwn paintball noobs.



I have no TIME for web 2.0. StreamK is screaming to me to be developed further, but I can't be buggered. Neither can anyone else. We're all lazy sods, living life to the fullest. And we're too busy having fun to enjoy ourselves. Screw you web 2.0, give me back my life!



See! No TIME!

Notes on the past, the present and the near future

I just watched the first few episodes of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and I think that means that I'm certifiably insane. If I'm not then everyone on the production staff certainly was.


Nothing hugely interesting going on today. I hate to do a notes post again so soon after the last one but I figure that's probably the best way to get through everything.


I relisted my Axim X3 on eBay (as you'd know if you ignored my warnings and read yesterday's post) and it's now got one bid, meaning I've definitely made my first sale on eBay. Huzzah.


I've been talking with Skippy about advertising for Dunhenry, which is kind of what I'm doing with this paragraph, only more blatant. This hopefully means that, now that Skippy's got his iMac back again, work on StreamK will start up again.


Ever heard of "I Wonder Why..." books? I used to love these things when I was little and Erin, clearing out her bookshelves, discovered a few of my old ones today. It's photo time:

I can remember the answers to all the other questions on the cover here. Except for the title question.

I don't really remember this one. Sorry, Spidey.

This one is without a doubt, my personal favourite. Why, you ask? Because of what's in the photo located directly beneath this sentence, that's why!

I guess it's funny that even at a young age, I was apparently paying more attention to physics and devices and machines than to history and the natural world. Or maybe it was more to do with my fascination with all things large and mechanical at that age. Seriously, one of my defining childhood memories is of this big brown book full of tractors. I loved that thing.


With any luck, by tomorrow I'll have a big new TV that I can... look at things on. And connect things to. I'm deliberately going for one with S-video and some PC connectors so that I can hook it up to my GP2X and some computers without too much trouble. I know it should be pretty difficult to find a TV without S-video but none of the TVs in my house have it.


I received some of Sam's first art for the webcomic today. Yeah... I think I'm going to turn this into a purely written thing, unless I find a better artist. They don't necessarily have to be brilliant at drawing things but I think I first asked Sam to do some concept stuff early last year. So, the time scale's a little bit iffy for a regular feature. Still, I'll leave him to do The Adventures of Jelly Jumper and Ace Cow with Erin instead. Don't ask. It's a long and complicated tale and you wouldn't understand it anyway.


Hey, I just realised I never got round to playing more of Mario Strikers Charged today. I should have done that. Stupid miscellaneous other things that keep getting in my way... like sleeping in till 11:00...


That's about it I reckon. Those photos that you can hopefully see above are going to take a little while to upload and arrange and I have an episode of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (copy and paste, the greatest invention since the wheel of sliced television) that I want to finish watching before bed.

Have a nice day.

Warning: This post is terrible. Don't read it.

I've decided I'm going to do another one of my blogging throughout the day posts, since they're relatively easy and I've got some other stuff I want to focus on today. It's 11:08 right now, just for reference. I've been talking with my brother, whose interest in photography led him to the Canon Outlet on eBay, from where you can also get cheaper-than-average refurbished camcorders, so I may finally get round to buying one soon, if Mum can be nagged into giving Erin and I a budget.

Is it my imagination or were there a huge number of commas in that paragraph?


12:05 and I'm rewatching Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Movie. No idea why.


I'm looking through the Argos catalogue, ostensibly to find a toy for my little cousin's birthday. Some sort of gun was recommended. This brings back a lot of memories and also makes me want to buy the Potato Head version of Optimus Prime.


Just opened up Mario Strikers Charged. Both the Argos catalogue and new games have a distinct smell. I like new game smell. I think it's from some kind of addictive substance they put in the boxes to force me to keep buying games.

Love that smell. Kinda creepy.


In games, why are the instructions always stuck in at the back of the bundle of leaflets, after all the adverts and warranties and stuff? That always bugs me.

I can't believe I'm doing a running commentary on me opening a game box.


THIS IS GOING TO WIND UP (sorry, caps lock) being a really long and pointless post isn't it?

And I still haven't done this week's woodle yet. I was hoping to have something interesting but I'll just do a Stick Guys after lunch.


Wow. It just started bucketing down outside. I hate Scottish weather.


Played more of Red Steel a while ago. I can't believe I only got up to the 2nd level of that game before. It might not be a masterpiece but I think it deserves more attention than that. Of course, this means I haven't played Mario Strikers Charged yet.


Eating ice cream, blog later.


You know how I've been selling that Axim on eBay? I won't link to it because by the time I put this up the auction will (hopefully) be done anyway but some of the spam questions I've been getting about it are hilarious. I just got one vaguely promising to give me an "Iphone (4G)" "because our VIP member". It ends "best regards," then gives no name. Bizarre.

The second message is similar (same style of username as well - stream of letters then a random number) and offers me an "IPHONE" (keep trying guys, you'll get the capital letters in the right place eventually) and a "20G PS3". I can apparently get this if I spend more than €699 at a website that I won't name. Suffice it to say that the URL spells "bargain" wrong.

Who do spammers actually catch out with this crap?


There's another Final Fanatsy Retrospective episode out on Joystiq. I've recommended the series before but I'm not watching this one since I want at least some of the plot (that which I haven't picked up from the numerous internet references I've seen over the years) left for when I buy it, which I intend to do soon.


I think I might have given up on Red Steel now. A few too many "I'm walking into a room... and now I'm dead" moments coupled with some "Who the hell is shooting at me?!" moments do not a good FPS make. Still, I can now at least say that I gave it a shot (pun not intended).


There's half an hour till that eBay auction for my Axim finishes. I think I'll go play Strikers Charged or something instead of sitting here, clicking refresh.


Interesting. The clock on my Wii appears to be just a few minutes faster than all my other clocks, hence why I'm back up here before the auction finishes. Actually, I must have stopped playing Strikers with about a minute to spare. Go internal clock!

I did however miss a bid for something else that I wanted. Oh, well. It's a Buy It Now that'll probably be relisted anyway.


And I think my Axim auctions over. No buyers, far as I can see.

Yep, 1 unsold. Ah, well. I guess I'll lower the asking price a bit and relist it.


And that's that done. Now, I really ought to sort out some of the other crap I intend to sell.


I've completely forgotten about this now. And I never did that Stick Guys that I thought I would do.


I'm half-tempted to just cull half the stuff on here and try to make a coherent post out of what's left but I won't because that would be cheating. I'll reread it and, if warranted (which it probably will be), I'll stick it under "crappy posts".

I'll try to have something better for tomorrow. But, then again, I always say that. And I'm fairly sure that I haven't been improving, day in, day out, so I'm probably lying. Ho hum.

These titles are just getting more and more ridiculous, aren't they?

Woke up late again and now my body clock is all wacky. It's 10 to 7 in the evening and I feel like I want a mid-morning snack. It doesn't help that the weather's all screwy so that it's lighter than it has been for the past few nights.


Actually, it's raining now, as it's been doing on and off for the past few days. Summer, which never really seemed to have started this year, appears to be over. It really has been a miserable one. Meh. Inconvenient but who knows, it may pick up for a couple of days yet. Though it probably won't.

It's really bucketing down out there. I can never decide whether or not I like rain.

...

This running commentary on the weather is brought to you by TWToday.co.uk: Your premier source for useless crap.


Now that I've finally got an eBay seller's account, I've been drafted by my family in order to sell various pieces of accumulated tat, including a load of DVDs that my brother no longer wants, some old CDs and one of those Scene It? games that Erin got the Christmas before last. And never played. It's just sat around the house ever since, making a convenient place to put things if you don't want them on the carpet for some reason but otherwise taking up space.

What's funny here is that, in preparation for putting it on, I decided to check to see if any had been sold. I figured that I'd have to go into completed listings and then I'd see a couple. But no . It turns out there are more than 10 of them on there and the ridiculous thing is that most are labeled "as new" or "only played once". I get the feeling that these are the kind of things that people get from other people at Christmas on the basis that "Hey, s/he likes movies, therefore they would surely love to play a tedious trivia board game based on those movies, right?".

We've got another one tucked away somewhere, based on James Bond. I think my brother's keeping it in the hopes that it'll become collectable but the only person I even know who would be willing to play it is Sam "Almost cried when we got him a signed picture of Roger Moore for his birthday and then identified what film set it came from based solely on the tuxedo he was wearing" Stafford, who would be nigh unbeatable anyway.


A quick little sketch that's been in my mind for a while now, that I may use to open an episode of any sketch sketch comedy I ever get round to doing. It assumes that the "idiot" character is called "Jimerson" and that the malicious, intelligent character is called "Al" for reasons that I'm not about to explain.

[pan over a number of blunt instruments over to a tree, from which Jimerson is hanging, tied up by ropes to resemble a piñata. Around him is the rest of the team]

Jimerson: You guys are absolutely sure I'm filled with candy, right?

Al: 99%.

[Al swings into the camera; cut to the opening credits]

Like I said, I'm basing this sketch on the assumption that I can convince my friend Jimerson to star in a comedy show in which he is the butt of at least 25% of the jokes. Of course, he thought Transformers had a decent plot. This shouldn't be too hard.


I played Red Steel on the Wii again today, a game I don't think I gave enough of a chance to when I first got it, probably because Twilight Princess, Wii Sports and Wii Play were taking up my time. I feel like I haven't played a serious game (ie, not Wii Play Billiards or Shooting) on the Wii in ages and it's actually pretty good, for all the mixed reviews it got.

I'm planning on buying Resident Evil 4: Wii edition and Mario Strikers Charged next time I have the cash. I was never really in to the Resident Evil series before, even if I did make funny videos out of them, but I did consider buying 4 for the Gamecube and the Wii version is supposed to be superior in terms of bonuses and controls so I may as well. I considered buying the original Mario Strikers as well but decided against it.


Today's post has been rather disjointed. Still, who cares. I obviously don't.