I haven't done one of those meaningless, self-referential titles in a while, have I?

Remember all those weeks of posts that I did before and during May talking about my exams and various things related to my exams that I can't really recall at the moment?

No? Fair enough, I barely remember it. Seems like it was ages ago.

Which is what makes it all the more surprising that I'm getting the results tomorrow, barring their interception by an evil cabal of Royal Mail employees hell bent on mildly inconveniencing me a postal strike.

I know some people (including Skippy, remember him? The other half of this blogging team? Also writes for MacTake, hypothetically? You know, the guy who never updates and hasn't come out from underneath a small rock in the middle of the Australian outback since his iMac died? Yeah, that Skippy.) who already have their results, having managed to successfully sign up for online results the day before certificates are due to come out.

They seem to have been among the lucky ones, judging by all the reports of massive screwups. Admittedly, it seems to have been a little out of proportion considering that people only have to wait for 24 hours, maximum, to get their results. One person shown on the news said they had been trying for ten hours to get the site to work. I'm not sure if this was actually ten solid hours of clicking "Refresh" but it seems like they need to get a bit of perspective.

That said, the whole thing has been a bit of a fiasco. Fortunately, I don't have to deal with the crushing disappointment of having to wait slightly longer than expected to receive my results at the same time as everyone else, since I never bothered to sign up. I was going to, but when I got the note from the SQA it required some kind of security thing that I didn't have. The school might have given it to me before then, but damned if I could remember.


Oh, well, enough about that. Today has been another day of watching Yu-Gi-Oh - The Abridged Series (again) and fiddling around with ancient consoles. We tested everything from that big retro bundle which we could test, given the cables available to us, and we're fairly satisfied with it. All three Mega Drives work, as do the NES, SNES, Amstrad CPC 464 and the PSone (near as we can tell without the video cables).

A few strange things became apparent while we were investigating the consoles. Both Mega Drive Is have an odd port on the back that we couldn't quite pin down. Turns out it was only ever used for the Meganet network, where it connected to a Megamodem that allowed for some fairly primitive online play and that (as with all cool peripherals) was never released in Europe, or anywhere other than Japan and Brazil. Brazil, in case you're wondering, was something of a strong-hold for the Mega Drive and more Meganet games were released there than in Japan.

These early models also had the text "High Definition Graphics · Stereo Sound" written behind the cartridge slot. These were presumably removed due to the sheer weight of irony crushing the consoles.

The PlayStation was also an early model which included a port at the back which was removed from later iterations because it's sole use was for connecting the PS1 up to computers for piracy and cheating.

And one final oddity before I close: the small LCD screen on the top of our old photo printer can be taken off and the cable on it fits perfectly into the back of a Mega Drive II. It doesn't show anything since the Mega Drive doesn't send enough power through its video-out but it's kind of neat nevertheless. Emphasis on "kind of".


Well, I'm off to bed since I want to get up early tomorrow and play video games. Oh, and wait for the post to arrive... I'm expecting stuff from eBay.

I'll write about what I like (except what teachers I hate, because that would be hypocritical)

Well, we finally figured out what that Doctor Who reference in The Simpsons Movie was. Both Homer and the Ninth Doctor believe that bananas are an excellent source of potassium. I can't remember the exact scene but I'm glad I finally figured that out. And a little creeped out by how exciting it was.


I'm not sure I can really be bothered writing about that topic I mentioned yesterday. Just so you know, I was going to write about this story, regarding the Professional Association of Teachers wanting sites like YouTube and RateMyTeacher brought down due to cyberbullying. There's not much to say about this other than that it's a silly idea (these sites aren't the root cause, most have systems in place to protect against such things, no one actually has the power to simply "close them down", such videos are an insignificant fraction of content, etc., etc., ad nauseam) but one with some good reasons behind it (bullying is a bad thing) that are simply being applied in a misguided fashion.

I decided not to write about it for two reasons; the first is that it ended up being a load of complaining that really didn't achieve anything and the second is that my whole argument can be summarised just as effectively in a single, if rather clumsy, paragraph.

I have this kind of gating mechanism for ideas. If, upon being reminded of something, I still have the same reaction after a day or so, I'll know that it's a good idea. If I'm still angry about something, it's something to get angry about. If a joke still makes me smirk after mulling it over, then it's a good joke.

Conversely, if I see something again and it doesn't affect me, I'll ignore that gut reaction. If I read in the morning a hastily written note I made while half asleep and wonder what I was thinking then I'll forget about it, however hilarious it seemed at the time.

The latter is what happened with this PAT/YouTube story. I realised that it would probably come to nothing, that it was just an organisation exaggerating to make their point and that the news was running with it because YouTube is currently hip and trendy. Anything I said about it wouldn't matter, largely because it was all common sense with added vitriol.


All this has been a rather topic-like explanation of why I'm not using my original topic. I've little else to mention today, beyond insights into how my mind works. I've been playing around with Picasa as a feature of my Google account. I've never really used it before but the little iPhoto plug-in made it rather useful. I only started using it in order to upload these photos somewhere in a hurry. They're of a big bundle of retro gaming equipment that Sam and I purchased a few days ago and I felt that laying them all out on the kitchen table and sending Sam a link to the photos was the funniest way to tell him that they'd arrived.

We'll probably be reselling the excess stuff (NES, SNES, a few Mega Drives) and keeping the best for ourselves. Until we can get them sorted out, I've used them to complete my annexation of the spare bedroom next to mine. Along with the NESi, a couple of printers I got from the school along with Lucy, the big CRT monitor for Linus and a whole bunch of cables, this has pretty much filled that wee room to capacity.

Corbett - 1, Floorspace - 0

"Boy writes blog" says Shocking New Government Report

There's something of a tradition in our family that whenever a bunch of us happen to be in the same room and there's a new programme on TV, we are obligated to mock it to the best of our abilities. Well, except for my mother who generally tries to make us be quiet by yelling at us loudly after we open our mouths. But that's a different story.

Tonight's edition of the Channel 4 news gave us some real opportunities. The first story concerned recent flooding in England, focusing particularly on a small village which had been hit particularly badly. Now, flooding is a serious problem and presents a large number of hazards, not to mention the loss of property, damage to homes and huge problems incurred by families that have to evacuate. I understand that. Channel 4 apparently doesn't, making a point of mentioning that some gerbils had been saved from a local pet shop, thus making everything better. After the piece, viewers were asked to send in videos and photos of flooding in their areas. Way to save on cameramen and travel expenses, guys.

But that's just the beginning and the end. The best bits, as with a sandwich, were in the middle. The presenter, standing on a bridge above an overflowing river, noted that the bridge was out of use for fear that it might collapse after a caravan smacked into while being swept downstream. Beneath the bridge, we were given shots of gas canisters from the caravan site being lodged at the base briefly before being swept along.

We suspected that the producer was secretly hoping that one of these would explode as the crew were on the bridge, thus securing him an award of some kind.

The presenter, having explained that she was a suicidal nut, told us that the army had been called into the area to assist in securing the bridge. Why we couldn't see them at all is anybody's guess. Maybe it was a one way bridge and the they were all at the end behind the camera.

Or maybe the army weren't securing the bridge at all. Maybe they were busy flying helicopters to rescue people. Yes, that's what they were doing, struggling against strong winds that had apparently started to plague them recently. Strong, magic winds that only affect low-flying helicopters, not trees, such as the large group of tall, and perfectly stationary, ones that were clearly visible in the background.


The other two stories of note definitely said something about the modern media's attitude to what constitutes news. Two people got hit by golf balls during a tournament today, a fact I happened to catch the aftermath of both events. Ignoring the more serious injury, the focus (indeed, it was the only accident even mentioned) was upon the woman who was hit by Tiger Woods, the golfer that people who don't know golf know.

The second minor story concerned a British racing driver, Lewis Hamilton, who had been in a high speed crash. We saw footage of the crash, a video of him wriggling his toes from his POV camera immediately afterwards and everything indicated that he had no serious injuries and was fully conscious the whole time.

Why is this even news?

Crashes are surprisingly common in a sport that involves hurtling very fast cars around very tight tracks for hours on end. The fact that he wasn't hurt is good news in one sense, but it isn't actually news. What kind of headline would it produce? "Man Completely Healthy"? "Nothing is Wrong with Racing Driver"? "Nothing to Read About Here"?

Still, he was English and winning at something, which makes him newsworthy. And anything that's newsworthy is an acceptable target for Corbett mockery. (BBC article about the crash)


I really didn't expect this post to be so long. Ah, well. Nobody's going to read it, I imagine, since everyboody who can read is totally engrossed in the new Harry Potter book. According to the news.

In the case of Sony Corp. vs. God, the court finds...

I've definitely been bitten by the retro-gaming bug again. It happens every summer. I've spent the entire day poking around eBay auctions. I'll be completely broke and surrounded by tat by the end of the week, just you wait.


Those of you keeping up with video game news will be aware of the storm that the Church of England is kicking up over Sony's inclusion of Manchester Cathedral in Resistance: Fall of Man. Sony has apologised, twice it seems, but the Church still isn't fully satisfied. Well, they never are but that's not the point.

Headlines always amuse me. I can't look at newspapers without laughing these days. The local papers are often the best (the Troon Times and the Ayrshire Post, the former usually more so than the latter) with their hugely melodramatic phrases printed in some randomly changing font. The national papers generally make some sort of sense but their habit of putting a headline next to an unrelated picture, separated by a tiny line, can lead to some interesting suggestions.

Anyway, to tie back into my original topic, there have been some great headlines on this affair. I saw one yesterday, "Sony says sorry in cathedral violence row" (paraphrasing a bit), which seemed to imply that Sony had actually started some form of riot in the church. Today, BBC News give us "Sony 'sorry' over cathedral game". I love the implication that the entire game is based around cathedrals.

On a related (you'll see) note, the woodle for today is delayed owing to a brilliant idea. More tomorrow.

Steering away from the headlines, I've just read some of the articles on this. Turns out that the church has decided that an apology isn't enough and they are still demanding that the game be withdrawn from sale and that all developers adhere to strict guidelines for the treatment of religious sites in future games.

I could've sworn there was something in the Bible about forgiveness but these guys are the experts. Or maybe they're just money-grubbing, publicity-seeking zealots jumping on the gamer hatred band wagon. But, hey, judge not, etc.

The term "virtual desecration" has been bandied about a lot. It looks like a lot of pressure is being brought to bare on Sony over this. They've issued an apology but the Church of England is still demanding the withdrawal of the game (do they have any idea how hard that would be?), that Sony give a substantial donation to the community groups nominated by the cathedral and that they sign up to new "Sacred Digital Guidelines" which have yet to be finalised.

Withdrawing a flagship title from shelves would be extremely bad for Sony, which explains their reluctance on that front. Giving to charity is a very worthy and noble thing. Telling someone "give money to charity or we'll sue your ass" is not. The idea of "Sacred Digital Guidelines" makes me laugh. Just how widespread is this epidemic of exact CGI clones of real-life religious structures being used in violent video games? I can think of this case and no others. Plus, "Sacred Digital Guidelines" just sounds ridiculously pompous. It sounds like they should include rules about not formatting floppies on a Sunday and cleaning CDs with holy water.

I don't mean to demean the church or anything (I have to say that in case I get sued). I just hope this doesn't spiral out of control and reach the levels of "game burning" events at churches up and down the country.

And so, I leave you with a question.

If Sony have truly desecrated a religious monument then they should technically be spending eternity in hell. Why rub it in with litigation? That's just mean.

Douglas Adams had the right idea.

The big news story today is the terrorist attack in Glasgow. Two men drove a Jeep Cherokee into the main terminal of Glasgow International Airport and set it on fire, causing structural damage to the terminal and and badly burning one of the men in the vehicle. The other man got out and, rather han being captured by police, was taken down by a punch to the face by a member of the public. Only in Glasgow. The burnt man was taken to a nearby hospital, the A&E ward of which was promptly shut down after a "suspect device" was found on the man's body.

This whole thing, in which no one died and the only injuries were self-inflicted, has turned into a major terrorist event, dominating all news reports and drowning out anything relevant. Switch to any news channel, at least in the UK, and the same images of the now-long-extinguished fire will be playing alongside messages telling you that the police are "investigating" and pointing out that fire is bad. It all comes shortly after two apparent car bombs were discovered in London yesterday.

It makes you really wonder about the society that we live in. Terrorist alerts are raised and the police and politicians are all making statements about the state of the nation and the seriousness of all this. It will no doubt be trumpeted as an example of why security measures need to be tightened even further. Police will be given bazookas and the power to abduct people and scaremongering politicians will rise to power by advocating CCTV cameras in public toilets.

This, it seems, will stop nutjobs getting access to Jeeps, petrol and matches.

Which leads me to some rather large questions. Why is everyone assuming that these people have connections to Islamic terrorist groups? They might be Middle Eastern and they may well be mad but you don't need to be Osama bin Laden to get a Jeep Cherokee and drive it into a wall. I highly doubt that these people are connected to anyone important and I suspect that the "detailed forensic examination" of the Jeep will not turn up bin Laden's fingerprints on a box of matches.

Why was the hospital evacuated? Well, not the whole hospital, as the news seems to be saying when mentioning it, just A&E. "A suspect device" is a very broad term and I suspect that if they knew that it was an explosive they would just call it an explosive. if it was found on the terrorist, why not simply take it off him? Problem solved. In fact, why was this only discovered at the hospital? Wouldn't it make more sense to search him before taking him into a public place? Or on to the roads for that matter?

And terrorist prevention measures. As I said above, this will be used to champion them and get tougher laws passed for months ahead. Do they even work now? The Glasgow incident clearly wasn't stopped at all and the two car bombs in London were discovered purely by accident. One was spotted by ambulance personnel handling an injury nearby and the other was only discovered when they towed the frakking car. Truly, a victory for the boys at Special Branch.

Anyway, this will presumably carry on for a few more days and I may mention it again tomorrow but I think I've made my views clear. Overreacting to things like this helps no one and simply hinders us in the long run. As my father pointed out while watching the news, just over 60 years ago thousands were killed in the London blitz every week and it was dealt with in a sensible fashion by authorities and civilians alike, as far as was possible and could be expected. Today, no one but the perpetrators was injured and the whole country is in a panic.


A few other notes. The battery that I needed to get my LC 475 working came today everything worked fine once I slotted it in. Having acquired a NIC for it today, I finally got my Linux box connected to the internet, turning it into a viable computer, even if the start-up time does amaze Sam. As a final point, Doctor Who tonight was awesome. Fortunately, Erin was not, as she had earlier predicted, deafened by the excited shouts of myself and Sam as we watched it. I have some quickly drawn art for today's woodle but it was done too late for me to upload it so I'll do that tomorrow.